Evolution

Read an email yesterday, and this word popped up in my mind: Evolution. Evolution happens all around us, all the time, whether seen or unseen by others or ourselves. The email struck me and I suddenly realized how much I've evolved from the person I was five years ago. Five years doesn't really seem that long, but what can be seen is the evolution in each individual.

I'm no longer the person I was back then. I used to spend hours folding cranes, stars and hearts for people, fill them up in a big box and give them as gifts. I used to write letter after letter to people, trying my hardest to express myself, trying my hardest to salvage whatever there is to salvage. I used to sit around doing nothing but think and think too much about a single situation, a single person. I have lost all of that.

Some people may see that as bad, I really don't know. But I, on the other hand, see that as a good thing. I no longer give such gifts, cos even though I put all my heart into doing it, people generally don't appreciate such gifts. I was one of those people. Letters are no longer that much of something I do, cos I realized some people just don't appreciate it. Worse still, they may not even read it. I no longer sit around thinking too much, cos I realized that thinking too much doesn't solve any problems.

I guess I have learnt to let go, to be kinder to myself. Maybe less compassionate too. I haven't lost it, compassion is still in me. But I no longer waste it on people who obviously do not appreciate or need it. I realized how stuck he was in the past, while I've moved on so much in life. Filled with regrets, that's a place I never want to go to. That's why I always remind myself to try and try again, to do my best so that I never have cause for regrets.

I tried to free him, and hopefully he will never have a need to look back again. The world continuously moves forward and changes, too quickly sometimes. That's why we should never look back, or we'd never catch up.

It's funny, really, how we're all born into this world, being our very own person, with our own personality, be it nature or nurture, our own temperaments and attitudes. But with each experience, it changes us a little, into that same person, but with something innate that changes forever. We all grow, and time never waits for us. Even though we may not realize that change until maybe a while later.

I celebrate his change, cos with his regret, I guess he will, in time, learn to treasure things and people around him. Or at least that is what I hope for him. May our changes all make us better people in this world.